RCVD – Remote Control Variable Discs

“Disc Golf is merely slow-motion saucer tech. Every throw is an experiment.” – Dr. Malachi Refaelov

Self-Contained Zulu Time

Tag: Seder

  • RCVD FIELD REPORT: Jerusalem – 2nd Night Seder

    RCVD FIELD REPORT: Jerusalem – 2nd Night Seder

    Date: 15 Nisan 5785
    Location: Judean Hills, Olive Grove 7A
    Mission: “Operation Let My Disc Go”

    Tonight’s objectives were clear:

    • Retell the Exodus
    • Avoid chametz
    • Test disc flight under mildly anomalous aerial conditions (see attached photo)
    • Count the Omer (Day 1)

    Test Results:

    • Disc Model: RCVD Type-Matzah Mk II (Yellow)
    • Thrower: Sgt. D. Levi, still wearing tefillin after Mincha
    • Trajectory: Beautiful hyzer fade into the chains—Elijah would’ve been proud
    • Notes: Zero chametz interference, though wine grip may have impacted follow-through (bottle still kosher l’Pesach)

    UFO activity was observed overhead. No hostile maneuvers detected. No matzah abducted. Possible celestial guests for the fifth cup?

    Seder Recap Highlights:

    • Four cups successfully downed
    • One Afikoman recovered (after brief disc basket mix-up)
    • Eliyahu still a no-show, possibly stuck in traffic over the Golan
    • Olive trees provided ideal conditions for both reflection and mid-range putters

    In short, freedom was celebrated, discs were thrown, and the wine… well, it flowed like the Nile during plague season.

    RCVD Conclusion:
    “Next year in Jerusalem—with better wind conditions and a glow-in-the-dark putter.”

    Chag Sameach,
    Dr. Refaelov

  • RCVD Field Report: Passover Disc Golf Seder — Giza, Egypt

    RCVD Field Report: Passover Disc Golf Seder — Giza, Egypt

    Designation: Operation Exodus-5X
    Date: Nisan 15 – Night Seder Phase
    Location: Sector G, Pyramids Zone

    Mission Briefing:

    RCVD (Remote Control Variable Discs) initiated a celebratory expedition to commemorate the exodus of the Jewish people from Egypt — blending ancient memory with cutting-edge disc technology, tradition, and… questionable quantities of wine.

    Objective:

    Celebrate Passover in proximity to the Pyramids of Giza.

    Conduct a hybrid Night Seder / Disc Golf activation.

    Test interdimensional sensor payloads embedded in discs coded “MATZAH-X.”

    Wait… Why a Seder in Egypt?

    That’s the question, isn’t it?

    Why return to the land of bondage?
    To stand in defiance of Pharaoh’s ghost.
    To remind the stones and the sand, the monuments and the myths:
    We’re still here.
    The Israelites are free.
    And we’re celebrating it in his front yard.

    Let the plagues echo. Let the wind carry the words:
    “Avadim hayinu…”
    We were slaves. Not anymore.

    Seder Summary:

    Leader: Shlomo “Sidearm” Feinstein

    Opening line: “God brought us out of the land of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm…”

    Meal consumed: Charoset-stuffed matzah, brisket, and four cups (maybe six) of Elijah-class cabernet.

    Discs thrown: 18 (13 retrieved, 2 embedded in sand, 3 missing, presumed extradimensional).

    Paranormal Activity Log:

    Time: 22:37

    Anomalous reading on RCVD telemetry node “AFIKOMEN-3.” Sudden temperature drop near Hole 4 (“Plague’s Edge”).

    Time: 23:04

    Pyramid behind tee pad briefly eclipsed by unknown celestial object. Visibility reduced. Tefillin straps tightened.

    Time: 23:12

    Multiple team members report sighting semi-translucent humanoid silhouettes drifting across fairway. Initial concern dismissed as wine-induced mirage. Re-evaluation ongoing.

    Time: 23:40

    Seder resumes. Dayenu sung. Disc glows. Someone yells, “That’s not Elijah, that’s a Type V4 apparition!”

    Post-Match Analysis:

    Wine intake appears correlated with dimensional bleed-through.

    Disc model “Moses V2” penetrated unknown portal behind basket at Hole 7. Remains unrecovered.

    RCVD shirt wearer reportedly spoke fluent ancient Hebrew while unconscious. Unverified.

    Conclusion:

    God brought us out of Egypt.
    But tonight… something else might be coming back through.

    Chag Sameach from Team RCVD.
    Next test: Mount Sinai. Elevation, Signal Strength, and Revelation permitting.