RCVD – Remote Control Variable Discs

“Disc Golf is merely slow-motion saucer tech. Every throw is an experiment.” – Dr. Malachi Refaelov

Self-Contained Zulu Time

Author: Malachi Refaelov

  • Field Post – Lizard People

    Field Post – Lizard People

    Can someone explain why this damn lizard is looking at me sideways?

    I’m standing there, perfectly still, mid-putt—fully aligned, perfect wrist snap, wind balanced against the eucalyptus sway—and this striped reptilian menace just locks eyes like it’s got something to say. No blink. No flinch. Just that smug, sideways glance like I’m the one who doesn’t belong here.

    Let’s be clear: I’ve mapped flight telemetry on discs breaking Mach 0.3, reverse-engineered glide vectors in coastal thermals, and logged anomalies at Kit Carson Park that defy Newtonian physics. But this lizard thinks it’s king of the tee pad because it clings to a concrete sculpture and eyeballs me like it’s guarding ancient secrets?

    Is it guarding the vortex again? Is that what this is?

    This isn’t your sandbox, lizard. It’s a disc golf course. A scientific arena. My arena. And until you file a flight plan or register with RCVD’s biological observation division, kindly get your eyeballs off my telemetry field.

    Dr. Refaelov
    RCVD – Director of Flight Dynamics

  • Field Report: Confirmed UFO Sighting Near Hole 16 at Kit Carson Park

    Field Report: Confirmed UFO Sighting Near Hole 16 at Kit Carson Park

    On a recent expedition at the Kit Carson Park disc golf course, an extraordinary aerial phenomenon was documented near hole 16, presenting compelling evidence of genuine UFO activity.

    Multiple eyewitnesses observed a disc-shaped craft displaying flight behaviors entirely inconsistent with disc golf equipment. Analysis using our proprietary telemetry model—the Refaelov Anomalous Flight Telemetry System (RAFTS)—confirms the object operated far outside known human projectile capabilities.

    Flight Data:

    • Altitude: Maintained steady hover at approximately 315 Egyptian Royal Cubits above ground, an altitude unattainable through standard throwing methods.
    • Velocity: Consistent travel velocity of precisely 72 Persian Parasangs per watch, vastly surpassing any documented human-generated disc speed.
    • Trajectory Control: Deviations from standard ballistic flight paths were meticulously calculated via RAFTS, revealing controlled maneuverability indicative of intelligent navigation.

    Further enhancement of photographic evidence clearly shows an absence of rotational motion—an impossible characteristic for traditional disc throws which rely upon gyroscopic stability for sustained flight. Spectral imaging additionally confirms no aerodynamic interactions typical of standard discs, eliminating wind influence as a plausible factor.

    The photographic analysis is definitive—this was no disc golfer’s throw gone awry but rather a meticulously controlled aerial object indicative of advanced technology beyond known terrestrial origins.

    We encourage further witness testimonials and submissions of photographic or video evidence. Your participation is crucial in advancing our understanding of such anomalous aerial phenomena.

  • Extraterrestrial Recon Symbolism Embedded in Public Installation 📡

    Extraterrestrial Recon Symbolism Embedded in Public Installation 📡

    Location recon by RCVD field agents has revealed a highly suspicious structure: a striped serpent exhibiting flight path curves identical to those seen in Anomalous Flight Object reports.

    Key Findings:

    • The serpent’s motion profile matches oscillatory, banking, and corrective movements observed in classified UAP (Unidentified Aerial Phenomena) studies.
    • Independent analysis confirms that with precise turbulent throws, the Discmania Genius reproduces these movements almost identically.
    • Surface markings and flow design suggest intentional encoding of reconnaissance techniques, likely ancient in origin.

    Critical Intelligence:

    • The posted signage separates basic information (“Disc Golf Course”) from a clear warning (“Caution: Flying Discs”).
    • The visual separation is not accidental: it distinguishes between everyday disc play and the serious danger posed by overhead incursions.
    • Historical precedent shows this exact method — hiding warnings in plain sight — is a well-documented tactic for psychological conditioning by prior intelligence operations.

    Additional Context:

    • RCVD agents were on-site not only for telemetry modeling but also conducting active recon in preparation for an upcoming disc golf tournament.
    • Terrain mapping, wind analysis, and hazard modeling were underway, with cross-objective value in both UFO anomaly recreation and tactical course preparation.

    At RCVD, our expert players can recreate these exact movements. A Discmania Genius, thrown with precision through erratic weather, can model the oscillations, banks, and recovery patterns identical to what has been documented in real-world anomalous flight telemetry.

    The snake reminds us:
    They watched. They mapped.
    And maybe, just maybe, they taught.

  • When a Tree Isn’t an Obstacle: RCVD Thanks the NYT

    When a Tree Isn’t an Obstacle: RCVD Thanks the NYT

    Big shout out to the New York Times crossword team!
    Today’s puzzle gave a nod to disc golf with the clue “Disc golfer’s obstacle” — answer: TREE.
    We love seeing disc golf get mainstream love like this!

    At RCVD though, we like to think a little differently.
    In our world, there are no true “obstacles” — only opportunities.
    Thanks to the RCVD system, our discs can shape any shot around anything: trees, rocks, even entire forests.
    Every obstacle becomes a chance to model real-world UFO telemetry: unpredictable, agile, and always adaptive.
    If you can’t go through it, you can go around it — or over it — or under it — with precision.

    Appreciate the crossword love, NYT.
    Disc golf isn’t just a game — it’s where imagination meets physics.

  • RCVD Dispatch — Dr. Refaelov Field Report (0500 Gym Sesh)

    RCVD Dispatch — Dr. Refaelov Field Report (0500 Gym Sesh)

    While most of the world slept, I was in the trenches this morning at 0500, training throws for RCVD.

    GMWB5000TCC1 strapped to the wrist.
    RCVD indicator: ON.
    Power Level: H.
    VO2 Max: Being ruthlessly attacked.
    Rest periodization: Precise and merciless.

    At RCVD, we don’t “hope” for better throws — we build them. Gym preparation isn’t optional; it’s non-negotiable mission protocol. Every clean drive, every precise hyzer, every stable UFO-modeling flight path starts with a body forged under resistance. Strength training powers our throws. Mobility work perfects our release angles. Core stability locks in posture through turbulence. Conditioning ensures mental and physical sharpness under fatigue, long after casuals start falling apart. Weakness anywhere becomes inconsistency everywhere. If you’re serious about mastering disc flight — and understanding the deeper phenomena we study — You don’t rise to the occasion — you fall to the stability rating of your disc under crosswind anomalies.

    Mission focus was strong — but the environment was rich with observation targets:

    • Micro Reps Guy: Moving weights about 1/10th of a full range. Chews gum like a Clydesdale eats hay. Carries a towel over the shoulder like he just fought in Sparta — despite producing no sweat. Respectfully, you’re wasting everyone’s oxygen.
    • Fountain of Youth Guy: Sponsored by Mercedes-Benz (at least by his shirt). One rep? Hit the water fountain. Two reps? Back to the water fountain. Also punctuates every sip with an invisible drum solo. Water bottle technology must be forbidden in his country.
    • Extreme Business Guy: Garmin watch, Lululemon gear, hair gel precision of a military parade. But he’s not working out — he’s broadcasting a Fortune 500 takeover call from the leg press. Topics include: “Firewall failures in India,” “looping in stakeholders,” and “leveraging synergies.” Bro, leverage a squat.
    • Colonel Sanders: Approximately 80 years old, emitting sounds during lifts that could easily be mistaken for a bootleg adult film. Every face twitch and groan is a public announcement: “I’m still here and I’m still swole.”
    • Karen: Broadcasting grievances to an invisible HOA committee. Allegedly preparing to file a Supreme Court case about the timing of the left turn signal near her house. Zero sets. Zero reps. Infinite complaints.
    • Bad Form Couple: “CrossFit” and “Spartan” shirts, but moving weights like they’re wrestling snakes. Every yank and twist guarantees a future of torn rotator cuffs and orthopedic consultations. It’s like watching a National Geographic special: When Ligaments Fail.
    • Social Influencer Girl: Phone in one hand. Mirror-checking the makeup in the other. Actual exercise time: 0 minutes. The only thing lifting is her WiFi bandwidth.

    Conclusion:

    Consistent gym fitness isn’t just about looking good — it’s about weaponizing your body for the field. Strength training, explosive power, and endurance directly translate to better disc golf performance: stronger throws, more consistent spin rates, faster recovery between shots, and precision under fatigue. A disciplined fitness regimen sharpens neuromuscular coordination, improving release angles and shot accuracy. At RCVD, we understand that modeling UFO flight patterns through disc dynamics demands peak physical readiness. The cleaner and more stable the throw, the more accurate our modeling becomes — fitness isn’t optional; it’s a tactical advantage.


    Here at RCVD, we live by these 10 simple motivational principles — because nothing fuels cutting-edge UFO modeling like blind optimism, questionable biomechanics, and shouting ‘trust the process’ while everything around you catches fire:

    “Hard work pays off — unless you realize later you were working hard on completely the wrong thing.”

    “Stay consistent, because nothing says ‘elite’ like doing the same mediocre stuff every day without questioning it.”

    “Discipline over motivation — because forcing yourself to do pointless tasks builds character… allegedly.”

    “Winners are made when nobody’s watching — mostly because they’re too embarrassed for anyone to see the first 300 failures.”

    “Trust the process — even if the process was designed by a guy who peaked in high school gym class.”

    “Pain is temporary, but so is your throwing arm if you ignore basic biomechanics.”

    “Grind now, shine later — or just grind forever while wondering why your ‘shine’ feels suspiciously like chronic fatigue.”

    “You vs. You — because blaming extraterrestrials for your bad form isn’t marketable.”

    “Fall in love with the journey, even if the journey is a flaming train wreck held together by caffeine and Instagram quotes.”

    “Success is 1% inspiration, 99% pretending your Garmin’s VO2 Max reading means you’re basically an Olympic athlete.”

  • RCVD FIELD REPORT: Deerfield Community Park (Irvine)

    RCVD FIELD REPORT: Deerfield Community Park (Irvine)

    Let me be perfectly clear: the real danger on this course isn’t a rogue putter on a 95-foot anhyzer line—it’s what’s hovering silently above it. I’ve warned the Irvine Company before, and I’ll say it again—those metallic flashes in the stratosphere aren’t swamp gas. They’re not weather balloons. And no, I wasn’t “affected by excessive Riip Chain Out IPA consumption,” despite what the Irvine Company’s in-house geospatial behavioral attorney claims.

    What we have here is a classic deflection maneuver—a warning sign fixated on disc golfers “at play” while everyone ignores the actual anomaly overhead: pulsing, disc-shaped craft conducting surveillance, possibly energy sampling from the plastic flight paths. I recorded magnetospheric irregularities on my prototype telemetry rig on THREE separate putts yesterday.

    But let’s talk about this course. If you can survive the oppressive HOA legal vibrations and the creeping unease of interdimensional observation, this is one of the finest approach and putting zones in Southern California. Hole 5 in particular gives you tight lines, variable elevation, and wind shears that, if you’re paying attention, don’t seem to match the trees.

    If you’re looking for a short game tune-up while simultaneously contributing to disc-anomalous research, this is your spot. But don’t let your guard down. Watch the skies. Watch the shadows. And for the love of all that is stable-underwind, don’t sign anything from the Irvine Company without reading the fine print.

  • RCVD FIELD REPORT: Jerusalem – 2nd Night Seder

    RCVD FIELD REPORT: Jerusalem – 2nd Night Seder

    Date: 15 Nisan 5785
    Location: Judean Hills, Olive Grove 7A
    Mission: “Operation Let My Disc Go”

    Tonight’s objectives were clear:

    • Retell the Exodus
    • Avoid chametz
    • Test disc flight under mildly anomalous aerial conditions (see attached photo)
    • Count the Omer (Day 1)

    Test Results:

    • Disc Model: RCVD Type-Matzah Mk II (Yellow)
    • Thrower: Sgt. D. Levi, still wearing tefillin after Mincha
    • Trajectory: Beautiful hyzer fade into the chains—Elijah would’ve been proud
    • Notes: Zero chametz interference, though wine grip may have impacted follow-through (bottle still kosher l’Pesach)

    UFO activity was observed overhead. No hostile maneuvers detected. No matzah abducted. Possible celestial guests for the fifth cup?

    Seder Recap Highlights:

    • Four cups successfully downed
    • One Afikoman recovered (after brief disc basket mix-up)
    • Eliyahu still a no-show, possibly stuck in traffic over the Golan
    • Olive trees provided ideal conditions for both reflection and mid-range putters

    In short, freedom was celebrated, discs were thrown, and the wine… well, it flowed like the Nile during plague season.

    RCVD Conclusion:
    “Next year in Jerusalem—with better wind conditions and a glow-in-the-dark putter.”

    Chag Sameach,
    Dr. Refaelov

  • RCVD Field Report: Passover Disc Golf Seder — Giza, Egypt

    RCVD Field Report: Passover Disc Golf Seder — Giza, Egypt

    Designation: Operation Exodus-5X
    Date: Nisan 15 – Night Seder Phase
    Location: Sector G, Pyramids Zone

    Mission Briefing:

    RCVD (Remote Control Variable Discs) initiated a celebratory expedition to commemorate the exodus of the Jewish people from Egypt — blending ancient memory with cutting-edge disc technology, tradition, and… questionable quantities of wine.

    Objective:

    Celebrate Passover in proximity to the Pyramids of Giza.

    Conduct a hybrid Night Seder / Disc Golf activation.

    Test interdimensional sensor payloads embedded in discs coded “MATZAH-X.”

    Wait… Why a Seder in Egypt?

    That’s the question, isn’t it?

    Why return to the land of bondage?
    To stand in defiance of Pharaoh’s ghost.
    To remind the stones and the sand, the monuments and the myths:
    We’re still here.
    The Israelites are free.
    And we’re celebrating it in his front yard.

    Let the plagues echo. Let the wind carry the words:
    “Avadim hayinu…”
    We were slaves. Not anymore.

    Seder Summary:

    Leader: Shlomo “Sidearm” Feinstein

    Opening line: “God brought us out of the land of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm…”

    Meal consumed: Charoset-stuffed matzah, brisket, and four cups (maybe six) of Elijah-class cabernet.

    Discs thrown: 18 (13 retrieved, 2 embedded in sand, 3 missing, presumed extradimensional).

    Paranormal Activity Log:

    Time: 22:37

    Anomalous reading on RCVD telemetry node “AFIKOMEN-3.” Sudden temperature drop near Hole 4 (“Plague’s Edge”).

    Time: 23:04

    Pyramid behind tee pad briefly eclipsed by unknown celestial object. Visibility reduced. Tefillin straps tightened.

    Time: 23:12

    Multiple team members report sighting semi-translucent humanoid silhouettes drifting across fairway. Initial concern dismissed as wine-induced mirage. Re-evaluation ongoing.

    Time: 23:40

    Seder resumes. Dayenu sung. Disc glows. Someone yells, “That’s not Elijah, that’s a Type V4 apparition!”

    Post-Match Analysis:

    Wine intake appears correlated with dimensional bleed-through.

    Disc model “Moses V2” penetrated unknown portal behind basket at Hole 7. Remains unrecovered.

    RCVD shirt wearer reportedly spoke fluent ancient Hebrew while unconscious. Unverified.

    Conclusion:

    God brought us out of Egypt.
    But tonight… something else might be coming back through.

    Chag Sameach from Team RCVD.
    Next test: Mount Sinai. Elevation, Signal Strength, and Revelation permitting.